WanderingScribe

Feb, 2006. For the past five months I have been living in a car at the edge of woods — jobless and homeless and totally unable to find a way out. I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't scream loudly enough, but I can read and write. So here I am laying down tracks...hopefully the start of an online paper trail out of here. (Update: Miracles happen....if you are reading my story I am part of your proof.)

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Out of sight jigsaws, and sushi...

It seems only yesterday that I wrote in here that I had given up chocolate for Lent...Well, I've done it again...Chocolate AND coffee this year, so my nerves are on fire — constant red alert. Only another 35 days to go though (apparently Sundays don't count as Lenten days!).

Anyway, I really can't believe that it has rolled around again, and that Lent is here. Time is relentless.

I should be keeping an eye on time...making sure it doesn't just pass me by. It is not just me saying that, apparently it was a direct message from angels for me (if you believe that kind of thing....)

When I got back in touch with my dad (Brendan) again, the time just before I ended up in the car, he heard about a woman in Ireland who was a mystic and received messages from angels. He got in touch with her, in fact I think he drove up to see her. I don't know to this day what he said to her but in amongst other things he asked her to pray for me. He later gave me her telephone number and urged me to call her, saying she would be expecting my call. I didn't know what to say, and wasn't going to, but one day in the midst of this, feeling very foolish, I found myself dialing her number.

A softly spoken Irish lady answered, but it clearly wasn't a good time for her — I think she was in a hurry to pick one of her children up from somewhere (yes, she also has children and lives in a modern house in a modern part of Ireland). She said she had received a message for me though — that the angels had given her a message saying that I had many talents that I was in danger of wasting, and that time was running out. Which seemed like a message that could be for anyone really..... She said she was very busy and couldn't talk but that I should give her my address and that she would write to me with the message.

I thought she was fobbing me off, but I gave her my address in Newcastle anyway and a few weeks later a letter did arrive. It took up only one side of paper and repeated the message from the angels: saying that they stressed that I needed to be particularly careful about time, and not to let it slip by. Which at the time I thought was a very strange message, even though that is what I have always tended to do in my life. I was a bit disappointed in a way, of all the things that angels could tell you....especially me in the lost state I was in at the time. She also gave me the name of my two guardian angels. Names which weren't in English, but which, even though I was sceptical of the whole thing anyway, I still found a bit unsettling seeing written down in the letter. She said all I needed to do was call the name and ask them to come down and they would. I remember rolling the sounds of their names around my tongue and for a few days finding myself silently saying them. But then I got frightened of what I was doing and tried to forget them — which, unfortunately, I have now succeeded in doing. (Though I think I still have the letter somewhere.)

I'd never met this woman myself. All I knew was her name, and her voice...

Then yesterday, in a local bookshop, I stepped aside to let past a couple pushing a toddler in a buggy, and as I did so knocked up against one of the bookcases. A display book standing face-out on the edge of one of the shelves threatened to topple. It was a new hardback with a very appealing light-filled cover. As I reached up to straighten it, I instinctively read the title, and then my eyes shot up to the author's name. Because suddenly I knew who it was. And as I read the authors name I saw it was her. The woman with the message for me from the angels. She has a book out, an autobiography called Angels In My Hair. Her name is Lorna Bryne, and she is apparently Kosher — for those who believe.

Brendan still has her telephone number and gave it to me again yesterday when I told him. Though I wouldn't dare call her again. But how odd...Time did run out for me in the end and I ended up in my car. So in a way the message was right. And then I wrote an autobiography. An autobiography which came right at the right time in the publishing world in a way. And now the person who gave me that message has written her autobiography too - with many more books to come it seems. It gave me shivers standing there in the bookshop holding it in my hands. Kind of...sort of...in a way...mysterious...

You can get yourself in a state of mind where things start to feel like proof. As if someone is laying a trail... constantly nudging, giving you more and more clues saying: Now do you believe? Now do you ...? How about now...? as they fill in this spiritual join-the-dots in your head.

18 Comments:

At 5:36 pm, Blogger parkinson said...

Hello Anya, I'm from Portugal, I received your book this christmas and I have read it last week. Your story made me think about my life and everything I have and that I should give it much value that sometimes I do. I thought very brave of you telling the world everything that is inside you, all that hurts you. I hope you're well now. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Kisses. Joana.

 
At 5:58 pm, Blogger Kinderfalls Primitives said...

Hi Anya, Hope that everything is going well for you. Stay strong. Pam x

 
At 8:07 pm, Blogger mesdupmoi said...

Messages from the angels are a good thing to listen to.

I listened to mine, and now my life is on the up.

Keep on smiling, Anya.


Lucy.x

 
At 5:03 am, Blogger Jo Lok said...

hi anya,

I am from Malaysia, I read your book last month.I admire your courage.I just want to say I am so happy u blog again after so long and wish all the best in life.

 
At 6:01 pm, Blogger Sa Majesté, la Chienne de Reine. said...

There are some things in life that bowled us over. If someone asked me, do you believe in speaking in angels...i will probably be quite stumped. I have tried speaking to God, in manners of prayers that is but nothing like what Lorna Byrne does. Though I do have to say it made me feel sad for not able to hear the answers to my questions back. I'm still seeking...still searching...at times doubting.

 
At 5:23 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello! I´ve just been reading your book "Abandon" but in Swedish ("Övergiven"). I really don´t know what to say but anyway the book touched my soul and I feel I can find some kind of help for myself by reading it. So I want to Thank you so much for writing the book.
I wish you the best and love in the rest of your life!
/A woman in Sweden.

 
At 1:40 pm, Anonymous Pauper said...

Hi Anya have been meaning to post on here for ages, but not sure what to say.
well i'll start with your a amazing lady, you may not agree but you have given so many hope that they to can become survivors.

I couldnt put your book down, many parts had me in tears, but the whole time i read it i was thinking this woman is here for a reason.
and i believe that reason is to let others know that no matter what life gives us we can survive and become stronger :)
all the best for the future Pauper

 
At 12:36 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hola Anya, soy de Argentina, la verdad que leer tu historia, para mi, es un graan testimonio, y me da ganas de seguir luchando por mi familia, a veces una piensa que ya no hay por hacer, o que las cosas van mal, pero veo que tengo gente a mi alrededor, que pasa momentos como los mios, o peores!
gracias por leerme! adios

 
At 4:07 pm, Anonymous faye collins said...

hi anya i have jus finished reading your book abandoned. and i have to say wat u hav been thru i cnt even begin to imagin but i admire how u never gave up hope, u seem like an inspirational woman, with many dreams and aspirations keep on going till u achieve th tru happiness u deserve!! u have made me realise that no matter what you are goin thru there is always someone thats worse off!! not only that you made it happen you got yourself out of the dark spot u was in an gave yourself new life....respect to you!! take care xx

 
At 6:48 am, Blogger Melinda said...

Anya, unbelievable when I read your blog in March about the book, "Angels In My Hair." I read your book and when I finished I read hers - one after the other and then logged onto here a couple of days later and you mentioned that book. She does indeed have children and has lived a pretty sad life as well but in a different way to you, but always with her angels.

Anyway I hope your journey in life is getting a little better every day. I know it is a hard road, 2 steps forward, 1 back but it is wonderful seeing the world through new eyes as you heal. Best of luck and big hugs from me in Australia.

Cheers,
Mel

 
At 12:37 am, Anonymous flor said...

I'm from Argentina and I'm really interested on reading your book but it isnt :(
I've been looking for it since december :S

 
At 12:56 am, Anonymous Jax said...

Hi Anya, just finished Abandoned....just want to say I felt your pain...your rejection...your loneliness and your feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. I felt I was there with you all through your life and I cried...harder than I have ever over my 50years of life. I have never experienced true homelessness and could only grasp what it must have been like for you through your words but as far as abuse, rejection, and all the emotions that go with them, those I have known first hand. Although you hear about it,it doesnt always sink in that others are going through the same things(even as I type)...at least for me it hasn't until now. I want to thank you Anya and congradulate you also. You never seemed to give up even in your darkest hours and you were able to share it with the world. What you have given me my dear lady is HOPE that I too am able to crawl out of this dark empty space I have been in for many many a year. May your angels continue to watch over you Love Jax

 
At 1:40 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never read a book, that touched me in so many different ways... I felt your saddness, your pain, and your dreams... I still am overwelm with feelings, and not sure what those feelings are.. It took me excalty six hours to read and never put it down form the first page to the last... I hope life only gives you happiness and sunshine every single day of the rest of yours..... You are trully an angel... I believe you have helped more people than you can ever imagine with your book..

 
At 3:23 pm, Blogger Princesa said...

Hello Anya!

I'm a young woman from portugal and i've read your book a few months ago... I've found your life story incredible!! It makes me cry just thinking of it... Thank you so much for writing the book... it tells us that no matter how much pain we take we should never give up living and we must try hard to be happy! You are a very special and strong person!!!

I wish you lots of love and hope in the future... Big hug and kiss 4 u

Keep it like that. ;)

 
At 11:30 am, Anonymous zai said...

hey anya..
i'm from malaysia...
well..
in asia...
by the way...i'm 15...
i've read your book...it belongs to my sister..
but my sister didn't read it..
she doesn't like english...so she said....
your story really touched me...
if i were you....i think i can't live as strong as you are....
i really impressed with you....
in fact...i adore you for being so strong....
hope your life will be coloured and blessed..always...
and...stay strong okay....

 
At 4:08 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anya,

I just want to wish you well. I know that the Lord watched over you all that time, and continues to do so. Heal, Anya, and move on with your life. You have much to give to others that are or were in your situation. Be strong, pray, and believe that the Lord will guide you.

Pat

 
At 8:40 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello: Anna just finished your book Abondoned I'm proud you did it good for you kiddo. I know how you feel hang in there it is tough sometimes. Merry Christmas!


With Love From Kelly
Michigan, USA

 
At 8:32 am, Blogger amanda44 said...

Hi Anya,
My name is amanda and I just wanted to thank you for you courage and determination in writing this book. It was very hard for me to read as some of it hit a bit close to home, but i'm very glad I did.
I can understand how hard it is to open up about your feelings as I have had a lot of trouble with this and still struggle but your book gives me hope. I want you to know that I think you are an amaising person to have overcome all the dificulties of your past and still be alive to talk about it.
I hope you can find some happiness and life is kinder to you.
I want you to know that you bring hope and forgiveness and these things are rare in the world we live in.
I wish you all the best in your future.
Amanda

 

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