WanderingScribe

Feb, 2006. For the past five months I have been living in a car at the edge of woods — jobless and homeless and totally unable to find a way out. I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't scream loudly enough, but I can read and write. So here I am laying down tracks...hopefully the start of an online paper trail out of here. (Update: Miracles happen....if you are reading my story I am part of your proof.)

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Tis (almost) the year's midnight...

and the day's....

Today is the last day of summer — apparently! The starlings are off to Africa, everything is hunkering down, and despite the shiver I get at this time of year now - from memories of that time in the car when the cold set in — I still love more than anything this whole season— the long, slow striptease of autumn.


Thanks very much for your emails. Yes, I am well, just haven't written in here much because I am concentrating on looking ahead, putting all this behind me, trying to get back to where I was.... Things these days are, mostly, good — definitely mostly good. Even though at times it still feels as though I am holding up the sky with one hand. Especially as we begin the long run-up to Christmas.

Try as I might to shrug it off, and no matter how many people I surround myself with, Christmas will probably always be dimmed a bit by loneliness for me — it probably always has been — but now that I've written my book and so can no longer be in touch with any member of the family I used to have, ever again — even if I wanted to - in case they find out and get hurt and/or angry. We can't even just play 'happy families' once a year as we had for years, years back. I used to love Christmas, I still do, but there is a loneliness about it now, people not there who should be there, whatever you feel about them. I find myself looking on it almost as a chore, wishing it was over already. There are worse things though. Having lived in my car for all that time, I now feel very qualified to say that. I need to remember it....No matter how tough or hopeless things seem - I know there can definitely be worse.

Besides, this year I will be with someone who I know cares for me, and with other lovely people — and, before the Christmas tree is dusted off and the tinsel untangled from its boxes, we've got the year going down in flames, in another spectacular autumn to look forward to! Why am I thinking of Christmas already....Now is the perfect time of year.

12 Comments:

At 10:12 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, Im from Australia and have just finished your book. I want 2 say it was great but great is not the word to describe it for your story is heart wrenching. Great is you for continuing 2 fight against all odds placed in your way. Great is your courage and great is your appreciation for life. There need to be more great people like you. thankyou for sharing your story, and helping others with their walk in life. You are an inspiration, and I pray blessings over the rest of your life, Tammy xx

 
At 2:00 am, Anonymous Stacey Reid said...

I never thought this would happen after reading a book but here I get to blog to the author in just amazement of your story. I think I didn't stop crying towards the end as I found you had away out and found a new palce of hapiness.
I have passed your book around the family and they are all in awe of you and your story.
From us here over in New Zealand we wish you all the best and thankyou for writing an amazing story...Love Nurse Stacey

 
At 4:01 am, Blogger Tee said...

i'd just like to say i think what you've been through is amazing. í've read your book and it's the best book i've ever read. Simply Amazing x

 
At 2:05 pm, Blogger mesdupmoi said...

I just wanted to say Merry Christmas. I know that it will no doubt be a lonely time for you, but I hope you remember that there are a great number of people out there that you can always talk to, including myself. Have as happy a time as you can, and we will all be here for you when you need us.

Merry Christmas once again.

(And Happy Birthday - because I don't know when it is!)

xxx

 
At 5:55 pm, Anonymous Kari Sand said...

Hey!

This is quite amazing, I just read about your story in the Finnish Readers Digest, and I just had to come to your blog and have a look :)

And now I'm convinced that the next book I read will be your story!

Big Hug,

Kari

 
At 2:54 pm, Blogger clare adele said...

christmas has been compeletly taken over by media and toy companies. although i myself am not religous i think that old fashioned values are needed a lot more at this time of year.
i hope that you have a good christmas, and despite my previous statement i do still live in this media ruled world (lol)so i hope you get what you want for christmas :D merry christmas, and a happy and prosperous new year for you. xx

 
At 6:35 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello, i read your hystori in the web site fron SELECCIONES, an internacional magazzine....I am fron Ecuador, South America, and my native languaje is the spanish, but I can understand very well your blog. It is increible.....I think than only in the Thirth World we meet historys lyke yours.So if there are anyone than can translate all the blog to spanish or another languages, it will be fantastic.....A BIG HUG FOR YOU.....

 
At 12:46 pm, Anonymous Patrícia said...

Hello "Anya"...after read your book i have the fealing that we know each other along time ago...i am portuguese so i am sorry for my english...i just wanted to share my experience with you...the experience of reading your book and beeing mother of a six years old boy...it's just the age when the worst beggin...i have cried a lot and it was like i wanted to help you stopping those offel things...I'm a pollice woman here in Portugal and i promise you that i will always do wath i can for those chldren...A very big hug for you and a Merry christmas...

 
At 11:17 am, Anonymous Farzanah said...

Hi there !
I just wanna say how much I love your book ! I was very engrossed in it . I never did cry at any books before , and your book was the first to make me do so . Your book was amazing and it touched me . Take care of yourself and I bet you'd have a wonderful future ahead ! I'll look out for more books written by you ok :D

 
At 10:46 pm, Blogger baduel rodriguez jimenez said...

hi
look and read your story and I found very interesting.
You were very brave and we appreciate very much and still struggling every day more superate not get beat.
your friend ...
janet

 
At 12:59 pm, Anonymous Lori Jon said...

Hi Anya, I have just finished reading your book and am in full admiration of you for telling your story. I actually work in the business of child protection and I often think I "have heard it all before" but then comes along your story. Thank you for sharing. I hope you find true happiness and you never know maybe one day we will meet when you come to Australia with your story. Cheers, Lorraine J.

 
At 5:42 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have literally just finished reading your book and can descirbe it one word AMAZING!! you are so brave and your book will be a real comfort to those going through or those who have been through what you have been through. You should be so proud of yourself getting through what you have - you are a real inspiriation!! from all the way in South Australia Charlotte

 

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