Feb, 2006. For the past five months I have been living in a car at the edge of woods — jobless and homeless and totally unable to find a way out. I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't scream loudly enough, but I can read and write. So here I am laying down tracks...hopefully the start of an online paper trail out of here. (Update: Miracles happen....if you are reading my story I am part of your proof.)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Be grateful for the freedom to see other dreams...

Psalm 91 for my sins, this for pleasure. I wish I had written it...

To An English Friend In Africa
— Ben Okri

Be grateful for the freedom to see other dreams. Bless your loneliness as much as you drank of your former companionships. All that you are experiencing now, will become moods of future joys. So bless it all. Do not think your way superior to another's. Do not venture to judge, but see things with fresh and open eyes. Do not condemn, but praise when you can, and when you can't, be silent.

Time now is a gift for you. A gift of freedom to think and remember and understand the ever perplexing past and to recreate yourself anew in order to transform time.

Live while you are alive. Learn the ways of silence and wisdom. Learn to act, learn a new speech. Learn to be what you are in the seed of your spirit. Learn to free yourself from all the things that have moulded you and which limit your secret and undiscovered road.

Remember that all things which happen to you are raw materials. Endlessly fertile. Endlessly yielding of thoughts that could change your life and go on doing so forever.

Never forget to pray and be thankful for all things good or bad on the rich road; for everything is changeable so long as you live while you are alive.

Fear not, but be full of light and love. Fear not, but be alert and receptive. Fear not, but act decisively when you should. Fear not, but know when to stop. Fear not, for you are loved by me. Fear not, for death is not the real terror, but life magically is.

Be joyful in your silence, be strong in your patience. Do not try to wrestle with the universe, but be sometimes like water or air, sometimes like fire, and constant like the earth.

Live slowly, think slowly, for time is a mystery. Never forget that love requires always that you be the greatest person you are capable of being, self-regenerating and strong and gentle--your own hero and star.

Love demands the best in us. To always and in time oversome the worst and lowest in our souls. Love the world wisely.

It is love alone that is the greatest weapon and the deepest and hardest secret.

So fear not, my friend. The darkness is gentler than you think. Be grateful for the manifold, dreams of creation, and the many ways of the unnumbered peoples.

Be grateful for life as you live it. And may a wonderful light always guide you on the unfolding road.


At 4:23 pm, Blogger Sagwaa said...

Hello, I'm Portuguese, finished reading your book, and felt I should give him the congratulations ... the courage, the strength, and how consistently throughout your life .. wish you luck to smile pro rest of his life, in every seconds .. and that his angels to continue to protect .. I apologize if my English is not very understandable, but I had to go to a translator for me .. thanks for showing the whole world that we must always fight for our dreams and desires .. and for us to see that it is very bad for our situation there is always a hope ... A big kiss from portugal this reader

At 12:30 pm, Anonymous Sandra Oliveira said...

Parabéns por acreditar sempre. é um espelho da vida!! Obrigado por me acompanhar durante 2 semanas de boas leituras.
Obrigado e parabéns é uma Mulher magnifica!!!
Fez-me chorar...

At 12:29 am, Anonymous Gwen from Kitchener,Ontario, Canada said...

Anya, I just finished reading your book "Abandoned" It was amazing. I can't believe what you went through as a young little girl and then as a young adult. I have much admiration for someone like yourself who can pull themselves out of probably the deepest darkest hole and emerge a beautiful flower.
Your book is an inspiration to anyone who is walking in your shoes at the moment.
Best of luck to you Anya, may God keep you safe and happy now.


At 10:51 pm, Anonymous dls said...

On reading your book , i was just totally blown away. I trust your angels will continue to look out for you in all you do and may god bless you and give you peace.

At 2:49 pm, Blogger Alastair said...

I too love this poem. Indeed I took the title for my first book from it: www.alastairhumphreys.com/books
Great stuff!

At 7:52 pm, Anonymous Halloween said...

Hola, soy de México, y leí parte de tu historia en una revista que publican aca, y me parece sorprendente lo que has vivido, y aunque no entiendo muy bien lo que escribes aquí en tu blog (porque es en inglés) a veces utilizo traductores para poder entenderlo).

Deberías subir entradas mas seguido, por que ya no las subes con mucha frecuencia como antes.

At 12:56 am, Blogger Blue-eyed Blonde said...

Anya: I started reading your blog almost from the beginning, and now your book. No child should have to endure what you did. You have pluck and I believe that God is on your side. May the rest of your life be blessed.

At 4:50 pm, Blogger trina said...

hey anya, just finished reading ur book (Abandoned) , i just couldnt imagine how hard times wer for u, but fairplay to you for pulling thru everything that u have went through, u r an inspiration to those that r goin thru the same thing , just u keep ur chin up girl because ur a strong woman ,

may God keep you safe and in ur tracks,

God bless ya anya your a true fighter

Lots of Love , Trina xoxoxoxo

At 11:23 pm, Anonymous Maribel said...

Dear Anya , i´m from portugal , today i´ve finished your book , ´Abandoned´( or ´Abandonada´ in portugal) i´m 15 years and only today i could understand that the world is not a farytale but is a world created on lies and cruelties .

Have a Merry Christmas (and sorry my bad inglish)


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