Feb, 2006. For the past five months I have been living in a car at the edge of woods — jobless and homeless and totally unable to find a way out. I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't scream loudly enough, but I can read and write. So here I am laying down tracks...hopefully the start of an online paper trail out of here. (Update: Miracles happen....if you are reading my story I am part of your proof.)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

If I was a bird....

If I was a bird I would alight on a branch outside your window, come to and fro, to and fro, pecking away at your attention until I had forced your mind to know the secret of flight, and you could follow me out there, to and fro, to and fro.

The kind of thing I sometimes find myself saying to myself as I walk. Is that strange....?


At 12:58 pm, Blogger Sparkle said...

I hope you feel good about your hair and proud about your decision to go to the hairdressers.

I wish you the best of luck, you deserve it.

I have just finished reading your book, your survival is inspirational.

At 3:16 pm, Anonymous loraine said...

I have just finished reading your book which my daughter lent me.... i have never in my life been so touched by someone. You are a very strong woman and i wish you health and happiness for the rest of your life.
Loraine.. scotland

At 6:02 pm, Blogger Lydia said...

Hey! Have just finished reading your book and I think that you're absolutely 100% inspirational! I recently found myself homeless, but not on the scale of yourself. I can however partially understand some of the thoughts and feelings you experienced.
I wish you so much happiness in the future - anyone who has been through as much as you have deserves to. May all your dreams and wishes come true

At 11:12 pm, Blogger ittybittyandpretty said...

i drive 2 hours to get my hair cut, back to my hometown. my good friend is a hair dresser and consider it smart to spend 3 hours catching up with someone i love rather than some complete stranger making small talk. i was doubly (not sure it there is such a word) lucky that another of my good friends was booked in for the same time wo we had the biggest catch up session :)
going to hair dressers can make you feel like a completly new person, i love that feeling.

anyhow i dropped in to say that your book was amazing. i cried at night with my wonderful husband snoring softly beside me while my 3 girls ages 8,6,4 (there abouts) slept. all i could think of was their ages and you...i will do everything in my power to protect my girls from abuse. your book gave an understanding of how a child can be tormented into being silent and the unbelievable rawness of emotions that you were able to express. even now tears are sliding down my cheeks as i think of you and others like you...

thank you again.
starting my blog gave me an insight into a whole new world of generous, like minded people. my blog nourishes my soul, even if no one ever reads it, it is for me and my girls.

%*_*% rosey



At 2:50 am, Blogger Unknown said...

I have just stolen my 10 year olds blog page to check out yours and add you...its not him following you (lol) its me, his mother. I just finished your awesome book and am looking forward to working out what you are doing now. In some ways our childhoods are the same in other ways so entirely different. I am sad that it was so hard for you to find the help you needed to get your life back together. Homelessness shocks me. Also I think the 'system' there is a bit different from here in Australia although, I know there are many homeless people here also. Hoping for many brighter things for your future. Your blog and story has encouraged me that maybe this is the way I can tell my story tooxxx

At 8:07 pm, Anonymous savvysavingbytes said...

Hi, It's a gray afternoon here in NYC and just dropped by to see how you're coming along. Your past blog posts about living in your car frankly knocked me out. I find it hard to imagine having the degree of toughness that sustained you and got you out of that dark place.

But how wonderful you did get out, that you put together and published a book and started a new life. Who knows what else may be on your horizon...

At 1:20 am, Blogger linda76 said...

Its Sunday 28th Feb 2009 and I have just returned home from a lovely holiday in Queensland, Australia. (Im from South Australia) We were visiting family when my sister in law said she had just finished reading your book and I must read it. So I took it with me and everytime my partner and I got back into the car I would pick the book up and read. I couldnt put it down. My partner would say to me why are you crying....I could never imagine what you have gone through and I would never pretend I could understand what yolu went through, All i can say is that you are an isperation to all the people out there who have experienced simallar things or any types of abuse before. You never gave up hope and even at times when you thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel you found your way to the end. Thankyou for telling your story :) I hope you write another book on Your Journey so far. (life after the book) Thankyou once again, take care and stay stong xo

At 8:32 am, Blogger Unknown said...

hi anya i just read your book it was very touching i had to stop a few times because i could not see the pages through the tears you are an amazing person i wish you all the luck in the world you have a soft spot in my heart xxx

At 2:51 pm, Blogger ukgirl85 said...

ur an amazing person and u have touch my heart in many ways. it just proves how strong we can actually be. i had tears in my eyes just reading it. but i had a smile in the end well done xxxx

At 3:45 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Anya - I recently finished reading your book and felt that I had to let you know how your book made me feel. I have the utmost respect for you for all your trials and tribulations. You have definitely made me think how appreciative of all the good things in my life. No person should have to endeavor what you have gone through. I can see though that in the midst of all the turmoil, you were still able to build relationships with your Mummy and Brendan and let some people know the "real" Anya and that is the most important piece to the puzzle, you never lost the "real" Anya and its sounds like she is definitely finding her way again. One day at a time. Keep positive. I wish all the joy and happiness. Take care of you!

At 12:53 pm, Anonymous pixie said...

hi anya

I just finished reading your book last night and im soo happy it had a nice ending because you deserve so much.

I hope your doing really well these days.

Lots of love
Pixie in Dublin

At 9:29 am, Blogger aye said...

Hi Anya, I have just finished your book. I feel so much empathy for you as I have been through alot of the same as you, but it was not a uncle. I just want to tell you, that time has healed my wounds. Not totally as i do have bad days, but NO WERE like i use to. I am 56 now and i was only 2 when it started to happen to me. We are survivers and we should not let people like that keep effecting our lives. That is how i try to live my life now. You survived what happened to you and that should show you how strong you realy are. All the best with whatever you do now.

At 12:07 pm, Blogger teaganlance said...

Hey Anya, your book came in to my possecion by meer chance, and as soon as i seen the cover somthing intrigued me, i read ur story and could not put the book down literly it took me a couple of hours... I'v always believed that there is always people above us and below us, and you take things how they come, but if that was me in your situation i wouldn't have had the courage to do it like you had. you do bring inspiration to alot of people including myself, I have alot of Empathy for you. I also believe things happen in our lives for a reason, good or bad! i hope you find what your looking for in life.. and i hope you keep righting about ur experince in your life as you have touched alot of people with this story, that if you can work your way from bottom, right back up that they can also. Thank you.

At 1:20 pm, Blogger azelene said...

Hey Anya

I have just finished reading your book. Wow what a story. I am so glad that you had the chanse to get your life back. Well done Girl, and all the best for you.

At 7:53 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Anya

iv just read your book and its amazing, it bought back alot of old memories for me stuff i had thought i had let go, but i realised that after all these year its all still there buried deep inside me somewhere and i now realise why i hava a panic attack everytime someone screams or fights, i was luck to find a wonderful husband who holds me when i wake up crying no matter what the time.

His my lifeline as your blog was yours

you are an amazing person, i pray that you find all the happeniss you deserve. you are truly an inspiration.

Sometimes you need to walk through a door, close it and never look back...

At 2:28 am, Blogger melissa said...

hi anya i have just finished reading your book and it really broke my heart.
so so sad the life you had and no one to turn to for help.
you are an amazing women to come through it all
my heart goes out to you
new zealand

At 7:55 am, Anonymous Bonnie said...

You deserve a wonderful life, with all the comforts your heart desires!


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