La Dolce Vita
Think I may have to see that there is another way to be.
Feb, 2006. For the past five months I have been living in a car at the edge of woods — jobless and homeless and totally unable to find a way out. I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't scream loudly enough, but I can read and write. So here I am laying down tracks...hopefully the start of an online paper trail out of here. (Update: Miracles happen....if you are reading my story I am part of your proof.)
Some time ago, wanting to know how easy or difficult it was to produce an e-book, I started one, putting together all the blog posts that I originally wrote while I was in the car, and that whole time up to me getting a book deal. People often email me, still, asking how a blog becomes a book. Well, this is the story of how mine did.... It is now available on Amazon as a Kindle book.
Sometimes it is because we are stupid or uninformed or naieve...but sometimes it is simply expedient to cling to illusions. Today I am badly in need of mine— if that's all they were. Reality can hold off for another day.
I was in Cambridge this morning. It's a place I go quite often with a friend. While he returned books to the University Library I sat in the coffee shop in my favourite bookshop. It has lots of nooks and crannies and, as a single woman, it's easy to sit there alone and not feel that you are taking up a table that several people could sit at. But yesterday there were no free tables. So I sat at a large table with one other older lady sitting at it. I was happy to keep my nose in a book but she struck up a conversation with me, about the book I was reading.
I went kayaking yesterday in Lake Windermere! My first time in a kayak. It was the greatest fun I have had in ages. It reminded me how much I love people and laughing and feeling alive. Being alone became a bad habit for years. I need to remember days like today.
I have started a new blog over on Wordpress. Partly for technical reasons (Wordpress is easier...), but partly because it didn't feel right to bury this last post about Brendan under lots of other posts. It felt like an ending, I wanted to leave it there....
I only found out about One Pound Food just before Christmas. And without it, now, three or four times a fortnight, I'm not sure what I would do.
I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree