Feb, 2006. For the past five months I have been living in a car at the edge of woods — jobless and homeless and totally unable to find a way out. I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't scream loudly enough, but I can read and write. So here I am laying down tracks...hopefully the start of an online paper trail out of here. (Update: Miracles happen....if you are reading my story I am part of your proof.)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Thank you

I stopped off at a shop yesterday morning, on the drive back, and had a very surreal moment. My book was there on one of the shelves and just as I walked past a woman came along took it down from the shelf and after reading the back cover and skimming several pages, went off to buy it. I couldn't believe it. What are the chances of that happening? Not only the having a book up there at all, but actually standing there as someone takes it down and starts to read it. For a moment I was stunned. I immediately picked up another book and pretended to be reading, but when she turned out of sight I actually walked off after her. It was Monday morning and there was hardly anyone about and I found myself wanting to walk past her and whisper something. I didn't know whether I wanted to say 'thank you for buying my book,' or 'put that down, don't read that, you look far too respectable and decent to know about those kind of thing,' or just to tell her that it was my book she had in her hands, wanting to say something,
Of course I didn't. But it was a very strange moment. I hurried out into the rain, cold and shaky, shocked at what I had almost blurted out, and at the chances of actually seeing someone there reading my bookcover. And very confused by my own reaction to both.

Who knows, one of the emails I get one day might actually be from her. Though now I'll never know...

If you felt someone watching you from a distance for those few minutes in a supermarket yesterday, after you had just picked up my book, someone acting strangely behind you, half-turned away, trying to be invisible but clearly wanting to say something, it was probably me — me feeling a million things at once; but trying to pluck up the courage to say 'thank you for reading my book.'


At 7:04 am, Blogger Spilling Ink said...

I felt someone watching me when I ordered the hardcover from Amazon. Was that you? Just kidding!! I will email you when I have read it. I haven't been reading much for a while. I think I avoid things that might remind me of my past when I am not in a place to handle it right. I have a feeling that when I send you that email, it will be a good review. :-) I'm glad you're posting on your blog again. How nice to share with you when you have events like that one in the bookstore.

At 9:16 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I brought your book about a week ago and could not put the book down at all. It was sad and made me cry at points and made me realise that although i ain't rich, i've got a family there for me and your book made me realise this,and i would like to thank you for that. Thank you for writing this book, you are a survivour,wonderful writer and i hope you all the best.

At 6:11 am, Blogger That Canadian Guy said...

is your book avalible in Canada?

At 9:30 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not the lady who you saw pick up your book. But I did pick your book up a few months ago and bought it and read it and was moved by it.

Keep this thought close to your heart - we may all be strangers in this electronic world, but it doesnt mean there is any less love or compassion shown. I send my love to you - you are a life warrior and winning every battle.

God bless...

At 9:06 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi Anya,

when i read your book it made me feel so lucky what i have got 2 wonderful kids a step daughter that lives with me and my wonderful husband. i hope your life will get better each day and maybe some day you will have all the lovely things i have too.
good luck to you. xx

At 8:14 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great read, bought it today and just finished it. Was sexually abused myself but what happened to you makes my experience pale into insignificance. What a life you have led. Cried at parts even when reading the end so relieved that you are back on track

At 1:50 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Anya,
I brought your book for my sister for christmas as we are all in to reading books like yours.
She read it in no time and then i borrowed it from her.
I have just finished reading it - i couldn't stop. At times my partner was telling me to put the book down as it would hurt my eyes but i just couldn't.
I have read many books like yours however yours is the sadest i have ever read.
I wish you all the luck in starting afresh and really do hope you get everything you deserve in life.
All the best.
Take Care

At 8:24 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like you've got a great head on your shoulders! Keep up the great work, and to much success in your life!! Congrats!

At 3:09 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Anya,

I bought your Book at the airport the other day and have spent most of my holiday reading it until ridiculous hours in the morning. I simply could NOT put it down.

Every word written was a moving one, written clearly with great strength and even if you didn't see it at the time, Pride. It truly is an amazing, moving story- one which I will never forget reading. I am thrilled and releived that your life has started afresh and you can talk of your experiences which are in the PAST and using them to make you a strong, inspirational and admirable woman and writer.

Take care of yourself and take great pride in knowing you have changed EACH readers lives in some way or another.

Carmen x

At 3:23 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I borrowed your book off a friend and have literally just finished, eyes still streaming i had to immediately log straight onto your blog to read about all the people you have touched the hearts of. I am feeling very low at this time in my life but after reading this am feeling stronger to put things back on track and sort things out for me and my daughter thank you so much Anya, al the best for the future xx

At 11:35 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Anya.

My name is Jae and I live in Wellington, New Zealand.

I bought and read your book. I read alot of books about child abuse but your book was the only one that make me cry and physically ill. Esp page 90. I thought to myself that my niece is your age when that happened to you.

Please, if you still think you are to blame in what happened, I will come over there and tell you that you are not to blame for anything.

I am so glad you had the strength to get out of the hole you are in and as you say, you are a very strong minded person to not get into drugs and alcohol. I respect you very much. Jae.

At 8:45 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi anya
i bought your book yesterday and have just finished it..i just wanted to say well done for hanging on in there when everything seemed out of reach.
i hope that things in your life get better and better because you deserve it.
take care xxx

At 11:39 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi anna.........i just read bout ur story via reader's digest asia today.......i ws quite moved by the article in the digest......iz dat really true dat u've livin in ur car for soooo long.........but i appreciate the fact dat ur brave enough to come ouith the truth...i will definitely buy ur book.......iz it available in PAKISTAN??


At 4:15 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the book was fantastic. and your blogs are great you are a credit and prove you can live threw anything. would love to talk to youhad a few rough spots myself


Post a comment

<< Home