Remembrace Sunday (Will it always be like this?)

The paperback being out has unsettled me. I feel like layers have been peeled away from me again. I feel all at sea. Today I felt that most of my strength during the writing of the book and after had been pretense, really. It's just that I hadn't tested it so much. When does the pretense become real? When do you walk out of the house in the morning with your head held high and your shoulders back and feel that the ground is firm under your feet?