Kayaking

I went kayaking yesterday in Lake Windermere! My first time in a kayak. It was the greatest fun I have had in ages. It reminded me how much I love people and laughing and feeling alive. Being alone became a bad habit for years. I need to remember days like today.

I was told I would go under pretty soon. But I was determined not to, and put everything into steering a straight course and not tipping over. 'It's only water...You're ONLY water' I half-shouted aloud, half under my breath, lots of times, laughing in frustration as the current came surging towards me sending my kayak spinning in circles no matter how much I tried to paddle upstream, '.... I will NOT be defeated by water...' I shouted into the tide as I dug my paddle into the water. And in the end I wasn't. But it was a battle. And lots of times the water almost won....In fact, even though by the skin of my pants I managed to not capsize, it was probably a draw. Water:1 - Me:1 But even if I'd gone in dozens of times, it still would have been fantastic. Just being out there on the water with a group of like-minded people, with the evening sun on my face, and every ounce of energy I had going into keeping afloat and not making a fool of myself, was such a thrilling, life-affirming thing to do...and beautiful....watching pairs of geese hurry across a coloured sky or skid across the water, a heron unfold itself awkwardly from an island of broken reed and noisily take off from the middle of the lake, and in the distance, purple cloud-shadows creeping across the backlit hills. I've never been one for water really, I'm not the world's strongest swimmer, but this could be a conversion. If ever you get the chance go!

I thought I never would either....